We are the pirates who don’t do anything We just stay at home and lay around And if you ask us to do anything Well just tell you we don’t do anything
But I’ve never been to Cleveland And I've never been to Denver And I’ve never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul And I’ve never been to Moscow And I’ve never been to Tampa And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall
We are the pirates who don’t do anything We just stay at home and lay around And if you ask us to do anything Well just tell you we don’t do anything
And I’ve never hoist the mainstay And I’ve never swabbed the poop deck And I’ve never veer to starboard Cause I never sail at all
And I’ve never walked the gangplank And I’ve never owned a parrot And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall
Cause were the pirates who don’t do anything We just stay at home and lay around And if you ask us to do anything Well just tell you we don’t do anything
O I’ve never plucked a rooster And I'm not too good at ping ball And I’ve never thrown my mashed potatoes Up against the wall
And I’ve never kissed a chipmunk And I’ve never gotten head lice And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall
And I’ve never licked a spark plug And I’ve never sniffed a stinkbug And I’ve never painted daises On a big red rubber ball
And I’ve never bathed in yogurt And I don’t look good in leggings And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall!