Fly in the ointment
Stain on the character
Dust on the wainscot
Hair on the gate

Bee in the bonnet
Ash on the waistcoat
Flake on the shoulder
Crack in the plate

Eye on the clock
Bat in the belfry
Head in the sand
Kick up the arse

Smudge on the collar
Hands in the paint
Flea in the ear
Snake in the grass

I though that you love me
‘Cos that's what you said
Climb on the table
Pat on the bed

The further you love me
You were taking the piss-tic
Out of the frying pan
Into the mystic

Rock in the carpet
Gap in the market
The open umbrella
But wait in the hall

An old bit of gum
With nowhere to park it
Soldier of fortune
Ear on the wall

I thought that you loved me
Cos that's how I felt
Kick in the bollocks
Under the belt

I thought that you loved me
Now I know I'm a prune
I wish through the window
(this line is so mumbled I doubt he knows what he said)

Knot in the hanky
Rat on the landing
Little bit hanging
Pain in the bum

Mind your own business
Only one standing
Wrong side of the bed
Terrible hum

I thought that you loved me
Cos that's what you said
Grub on the table
Hat on the bed

I thought that you loved me
You were taking the piss-tic
Out of the frying pan
Into the mystic

(note: the noises in the last verse and chorus are just him making
Rolf Harris type noises, he doesn’t actually say any proper words)

• Apples
• Back To Blighty
• Ballad Of The Sulphate Strangler
• Ban The Bomb
• Bed O' Roses No. 9
• Billericay Dickie
• Billy Bentley (Promenades Himself Around London)
• Blackmail Man
• Blockheads
• Broken Skin
• Bus Driver's Prayer
• Cacka Boom
• Clever Trevor
• Common As Muck
• Cowboys
• Crippled With Nerves
• D'Orine The Cow
• Dance Little Rude Boy
• Dance Of The Crackpots
• Dance Of The Screamers
• Delusions Of Grandeur
• Don't Ask Me
• England's Glory
• Father
• Fly In The Ointment
• Fuck Off Noddy
• Fucking Ada
• Funky Disco (Pops)
• Geraldine
• Happy Hippy
• Have A Word
• Heavy Living
• Hey, Hey, Take Me Away
• Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick
• Hit Me With Your Rythym Stick
• Honeysuckle Highway
• Huffety Puff
• I Believe
• I Could Lie
• I Made Mary Cry
• I Want To Be Straight
• I'm Partial To Your Abracadabra
• If I Was With A Woman
• It Ain't Cool
• Itinerant Child
• Jack Shit George
• London Talking
• Lullaby For Francies
• Mash It Up Harry
• Mischief
• My Old Man
• No Such Thing As Love
• O'Donegal
• Oh, Mr. Peanut
• One Love
• Pam's Moods
• Pardon
• Peter The Painter
• Plaistow Patricia
• Poo-Poo In The Prawn
• Poor Joey
• Profoundly In Love With Pandora
• Quick Quick Slow
• Quiet
• Razzle In My Pocket
• Really Glad You Came
• Reasons To Be Cheerful
• Rough Kids
• Sex And Drugs And Rock 'N' Roll
• Sink My Boats
• Spasticus (Autisticus)
• Sueperman's Big Sister
• Sweet Gene Vincent
• Take Your Elbow Out Of The Soup (You're Sitting On
• Thank You Mum
• That's Enough Of That
• That's Not All
• The (Body Song)
• The Badger And The Rabbit
• The Call Up
• The Mumble Rumble And The Cocktail Rock
• The Passing Show
• The Roadette Song
• There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards
• This Is What We Find
• Twenty Tiny Fingers Sore Throat Mix
• Two Old Dogs Without A Name
• Uncoolohol
• Uneasy Sunny Day Hotsy Totsy
• Upminster Kid
• Very Personal
• Waiting For Your Taxi
• Wake Up And Make Love With Me
• What A Waste!
• You'll See Glimpses
• You're More Than Fair
• You're My Baby
• You're My Inspiration
• You're The Why
• Your Horoscope

Choose one of letters in the top of site

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